Gift Guide for classic movie fans with (a lot of) imagination

Christmas is coming and you don't know what to give to that special, super imaginative classic film fan? Or to other people beside yourself? Well, Via Margutta 51 has an answer to all your prayers! Here's a list of very special gifts you can buy...with a massive ammount just a bit of imagination.

- Do you want to start the day with a little morning exercise? Well, choose this special offer: tennis classes with super stars. Oh, you know how to play? Well, play a doubles match! Just pick your partner and your rivals: Errol Flynn, Carole Lombard, Judy Garland, Mickey Rooney, Kate Hepburn, Chaplin, Paulette Goddard, Douglas Fairbanks, Ginger Rogers, Barbara Stanwyck, Jimmy Stewart...well, practically any star in Hollywood!

- Maybe you want something a little wilder? Well, choose this horse back riding trip guided by Gary Cooper & John Wayne! Besides riding with such amazing people, this option includes a visit to the ranches of Barbara Stanwyck & Robert Taylor, Gable & Lombard or Joel & Frances McCrea!! (imagination, people, imagination).

- Oh, oh, you want something even more exciting....Then the kart racing option is for you! Enjoy a  super fun (and super safe) karting session with Jimmy Dean, Paul Newman & Steve McQueen! (And yes, you can pick this option just to watch them...for a whole day).

- Love the sea? Well, Errol Flynn, Bogie & Bacall and Orson Welles are waiting for you! Join them in a super sunny and fun sailing adventure. This special offer includes swimming lessons with Johnny Weissmuller & Esther Williams. Don't miss it!

- Do you prefer quieter activities? Do you love chatting with amazing people? Well, be part of this Sewing & Knitting session with Bette Davis, Sylvia Sidney, Joanne Woodward, Kate & Audrey Hepburn, Doris Day, Maureen O'Hara and everyone who wants to join.

- Want to learn some awesome moves? Then pick our dancing lessons with Ginger, Fred, Gene Kelly, Shirley Temple, James Cagney, Eleanor Powell, and more!! This is an offer you can't resist!

- Do you have a kitchen but you don't know what to do in there? Do you want to learn how to prepare very special dishes? The cooking session with people like Marlene Dietrich, Vincent Price, Joan Crawford, Dinah Shore & Marilyn Monroe is for you!

-Want to learn a new, exciting language? French with Charles Boyer, Catherine Denueve, Alain Delon, Maurice Chevalier...or Gene Kelly? Dutch with Audrey Hepburn? Swedish with Ingrid Bergman or Greta Garbo? German with Marlene Dietrich? Italian with Rossano Brazzi or Sophia Loren? Whatever you want, we have an actor for you!

- Do you need a fashion expert? We have two people that will go shopping with you and advice you in a super professional (but very kind) way: Audrey Hepburn & Grace Kelly! Don't miss this unique opportunity! Special gifts and discounts are included!

- Do you need an amazing activity for a special evening? Viv & Larry and Katharine Hepburn & Spencer Tracy will act in an exclusive theatrical performance, just for you and your friends! Do we really need to convince you?

 - Don't you just love music? Well, pick this all-star offer and enjoy a whole night of the best music: Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland, Doris Day, Barbra Streissand, Irene Dunne, Maurice Chevalier, Julie Andrews, Deanna Durbin, Marni Nixon (so she gets some recognition) and a lot of other singers to choose from our catalog! This offer includes a duet with the artist you want!

- Are you stressed? Depressed? Or you just you need something to cheer up? How would you like to be part of a game night hosted by William Powell & Myrna Loy? Would you like playing charade with funny guests like Lucille Ball, Cary Grant, Rosalind Russel, Red Skelton, Una Merkel, Bob Hope, Eve Arden, Chaplin, the Marx Brothers...? You know what to do, the lines are opened.

(Jean Arthur's confirmation is pending).

- Are you just dying to go to a Hollywood party hosted by Marion Davies at Hearst Castle but you don't really like Mr. Hearst? Well, pick this super option because he's not invited! But everybody else in Hollywood is!! This is one of the most expensive offers, but it's totally worth it! We assure you this is a night you won't forget.

(And if you contact us in the next few minutes, Edith Head will design your costume!)

- This is the last offer! Enjoy a new version of the Hollywood Canteen, hosted by Bette Davis and with the participation of special guests like Cary Grant, Greer Garson,  Rita Hayworth, Gary Cooper,  Don Ameche, the Barrymores, Olivia de Havilland, Irene Dunne, and everyone in this list! Invite your friends, invite everyone you want and be part of one of the most special evenings ever!

Which offer would you choose?

Was this a good buy?: Classic Stars old cigarette cards

Hey guys, I don't know about memorabilia and prices, so maybe you could help me out here. The other day I visited a flea market and like in the first store I found a box with old Chilean cigarette cards of Classic Actors. I stood there and started selecting. The guy said that he would make a discount if I bought 70. Here are the 70 cards I picked:

I paid 33 dollars for them. What do you think? Too much?

Haiku # 7: "Bringing up baby"

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

"I hope you don't mind,
dear David Huxley, the fact
I own a leopard."

This is an entry for the Best For Film Hollywood Haikus blogging competition. Enter now.

Classic stars references in modern films #1: S1mone (2002)

The other day, when I was writing about the rumor of classic actors "acting" in new movies, I mentioned the film S1mone (2002). Critics didn't like it very much, but I found it really interesting. Anyway, I *think* that I'll be doing a new series of posts which cleverly I'm gonna name: Classic stars references in modern films (is that grammatically correct?). I know there are a lot and I'll try to post one scene once in a while. Here's the first, in which Al Pacino is teaching his computer generated actress tricks of the "old guard":

Cool, uh?

Katharine Hepburn: an unrepeatable presence

Knowing that I couldn't possibly say something new about the legendary actress and her acting skills, I felt discouraged to write about her. What could I express that sounded new to you? I watched and re-watched some of her movies trying to find an interesting approach to her work. I read one of her biographies. I listened to her voice telling me her life. An then I just thought: the only thing that would be a real contribution is trying to explain what impressed me about her persona and work; what I've learned from Katharine Hepburn. This is my attempt of doing so.

A few years ago, I entered to an old book store. I asked for a book about Kate. The saleswoman thought a bit and said, smiling, just like we were talking about a relative: "do you admire the old woman?". The old woman. You knew she was talking not only about the age she reached. Katharine Hepburn's presence was, since her early movies, older than her age. She exuded a combination of wisdom, independence and confidence. These inner characteristics added to her unique face, her deep, trembling voice and her unusual height could only end creating an unrepeatable presence.

There are many aspects of her life and the way she was raised that I admire. I like, for example, the fact that her grandma and mom were women eager to learn, to have something important to do with their lives besides having a husband and kids. I like the admiration and respect Kate had for his dad, a prestigious but down to earth urologist. I like the fact that she was so close to her parents and brothers, even when she became a big star. I like the Hepburn's love for sports and exercise. I like the way they discussed any subject without restrictions (press play to hear the audio).

Every time I see Kate on the screen I think of her background. She was proud of her upbringing and her own discipline ("Without discipline, there's no life at all", she said). She took cold showers several times a day and practiced lots of sports. In her films --even in the darkest like "Suddenly, last summer"-- she always projects that bright, clean freshness people have when coming out from the shower and, believe it or not, that is in my opinion one of the components of her natural presence on screen. She enjoyed life, she was independent, she didn't care about what people thought about the revolutionary way she dressed and always spoke her mind, even when that made her look a little bit cuckoo (she didn't even care walking naked on a studio as a way to put a big shark under pressure). I think that the roles she performed the best were women that had some of these characteristics. Think in distant roles like the crazy girl from the upper class that chases a leopard in "Bringing up Baby", the sporty woman from "Pat & Mike", the old liberal woman that loves skinny diving from "On golden pond". They were all Kate-ish.

Her private life was, at the end, concordant with the way she was raised. I mean, if she was that independent how could she possibly marry and be a normal housewife?

Even when she wouldn't/couldn't marry Spencer Tracy (he was married already) they became one of Hollywood's biggest couples. And, of course, that's not just a banal commentary about their relationship. That statement is supported by a great work in several movies, some of them unforgettable. My favorites are "Woman of the year" and "Adam's Rib". The interesting thing was that finally the independent Kate had an equal force, equal not only because you believed in them as a couple without minimizing Kate's energy (like, for example, "Undercurrent", where she played a naive, weak girl converted by her husband in a confident woman), but because Spencer was a great actor too, who apparently played without any effort.

Probably Kate learned a lot from Spencer, but I think this is what she valued the most:

But there's more to learn from Kate. She never gave up, she tried really hard in the worst moments of her career. She was a good worker, always on time, always learning the whole script and always trying to improve the overall movie or play. If she had any idea, she suggested them to the writers or directors in a very direct and well-thought way. She said: "As one goes through life one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move."  She also said:

Using some of Kate's ideas as guides for your own life cannot lead you astray, in my opinion. These are my favorites quotes from her on life in general:

• "Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well find some way that is going to be interesting. And you don't do that by sitting around wondering about yourself." 
• "Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I've had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh." 
• "I'm an atheist, and that's it. I believe there's nothing we can know except that we should be kind to each other and do what we can for each other." 
• "If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased." 

Respect for Miss Hepburn :) There are not much to add I think. Simply, she was one of the best. You can only pay tribute to her by watching some of her movies. Besides the titles above mentioned, and trying not to recommend more obvious films, here are some of the movies I like the most: "Holiday" with Cary Grant, "Summertime" and "Alice Adams".

Numerous have been the audio files added to the post. But I'd like to finish with Katharine Hepburn's voice, a final advice, from George Bernard Shaw, to Kate's mom, to Kate, to you:

-----------
Written for the LAMB Acting School entry.

My Top 10 Average|Bad Movies with Terrific Actors

After watching "The proud and the profane" the other day I thought: "with these actors they could have done a better movie". And then I thought: "hey, that's a good idea for a list!". I don't usually see movies that have low ratings and bad reviews, but I dared to watch some of these just because of the casting. Last thing: I would say that the top 3 qualifies as "bad" the rest is just "average":

10. Undercurrent (1946: Katharine Hepburn, Robert Taylor, Robert Mitchum): This movie starts OK (I got very interested), but ends ridiculously. Kate Hepburn marries an important guy (Taylor) with issues with a "bad" and missing brother (Mitchum). He talks about him so much that Kate gets interested. Finally, nothing is like it seemed and things get violent and creepy. The best of this film is this lovely theme by Brahms played all over the film.

9. Made for each other (1939: Carole Lombard, James Stewart, Charles Coburn): A couple marries the day after they met; Carole has problems with her mother-in-law because she disapproves her lack of housewife skills; then the couple has a baby that sleeps in the living room because the apartment is too small, etc. A not very well constructed movie, the main genre isn't properly suggested from the beginning which is disconcerting; the story is very basic (I mean, before the last 10 minutes their problems are not really that dramatic); the main actors are totally wasted, playing characters that don't have real chemistry. Has its moments though.

8. Once Upon a Honeymoon (1942: Cary Grant, Ginger Rogers): One of the two opportunities these two had to work together... in a film that doesn't make justice for such event. Ginger wants to have a better social position so she marries a German Baron. Cary, a reporter, is investigating this Baron because he's probably a Nazi. Ginger and Cary fall in love. There are some interesting and tense scenes, but overall this a forgettable movie.

7. Green Mansions (1959: Audrey Hepburn, Anthony Perkins): This movie was directed by Mel Ferrer, Audrey's husband at the time. The things you do for love. Audrey plays Rimma, the Bird Girl that lives in the jungle. Some natives believe she killed the son of the chief, so she has to hide with her "grandparent". She falls in love with Anthony Perkins, a prisoner of this tribe that was sent to kill her. They start a trip to visit the remains of her town, something that the grandpa was avoiding since always. It's not very well edited, the distances they cover don't feel right; most importantly, the story is not convincing and the ending is weird. Great song though.

 

6. The proud and the profane (1956: William Holden, Deborah Kerr, Thelma Ritter):  A disperse melodrama based on a novel that wants to be epic like "From here to eternity" and fails. Deborah Kerr is widower of a soldier. She wants to know all about his last minutes of life so she enlists to help. An aggressive Colonel with issues with his origins arrives to the base. Thelma Ritter, Deb's superior, founds the Colonel despicable but she manages to show him Deborah sunbathing on the beach. The editing is not very good and it loses tension half way trough the movie. The character of a chaplain is used to explain what's happening with the main characters and important info is given trough little characters that talk a lot. Everything gets more and more soppy and tragic. The end.

5. Dance, Girl, Dance (1940: Maureen O'Hara, Louis Hayward, Lucille Ball,  Ralph Bellamy): I didn't get it. Maureen wants to be a ballet dancer but she's stuck with a group of girls that dance in clubs. One of these girls, Sassy Lucille becomes famous and invites serious Maureen to dance ballet in her comical number just to laugh at her. Since her opportunity to meet an important ballet guy is lost after her teacher is run over (really), Maureen accepts. There are some characters that are not very well defined, at the point you don't know who they are. The ending is ludicrous.

4. Man of the World (1931: William Powell, Carole Lombard):  A con man (Powell)  falls in love with the nephew of one of the man he defrauded. This could have been great, but Carole's character was too good, simple and nice (and boring) for her and you forget the whole film after "The End" can be read on the screen.

3. Paris Blues (1961: Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, Sidney Poitier, Louis Armstrong): Boring, boring, boring. Two girls go to Paris and fall in love with two musicians. They go to some endless jam sessions and talk a lot.

2. Man-Proof (1938: Myrna Loy, Rosalind Russell, Walter Pidgeon): Use it in case of insomnia. Myrna is in love with a terribly dull guy that marries Rosalind Russell playing an awfully plain character.

1. Bloodline (1979: Audrey Hepburn,Omar Sharif, James Mason, Romy Schneider): The worst movie I've ever seen. Avoid it. After Audrey's dad is killed, she becomes the president of a great company and the new target of...I don't know, some killer. I never liked Ben Gazzara as a “romantic” lead, he's so unattractive. The whole movie is awfully edited, it looks like a trailer: some scenes don't seem to have a real connection. It even has a flashback to early XX century that seems out of place. There are a lot of shocking scenes (sex and murder) that weren't really needed, and what's more stupid, they are repeated along the movie, when they could have been suggested. The story is really badly developed, at some points you really don't understand where it is going. Most of the characters are despicable and there are some plot holes (if you think that someone wants to kill you, and you have escaped from death in several occasions, would you go alone to dark and solitary places and expose yourself?). Well, the worst (and saddest) thing is to see great actors like Audrey and Omar Sharif in this... thing.

What do you think?  Do I need to re-watch any of these?

Book shopping morning

 Don't you just love going from book shop to book shop trying to find a treasure (or at least something interesting)? 

Well, I love to do that. In fact, when I have time I prefer don't get any help from the salesclerk, and just get myself lost in the old stores, searching for something special. And if I found it that way, that means I have to buy it.

Today I went to our capital (I have to travel 1 hour to get there) to re-validate my student card used for transportation, and I decided to go to San Diego street, which is full of bookshops. 

I visited one that had some discounts. I found an old "Rin Tin Tin" book, but I preferred not to buy it. Like half an hour later, I went to the next shop, they had the same discounts, but the used books were all uninteresting. When I was leaving, I read something like "Harrison Ford" in a book from a shelf that was near the floor. I squatted and started reading the titles. Shirley Maclaine, My Lucky Stars (I have that one), one about James Dean, another about Rodolfo Valentino (I just found out that he had a Chilean lover, Blanca Errázuriz), Katharine Hepburn...and one about Grace by James Spada. I had heard of that one, so I decided to buy it. It wasn't veeeeery cheap, but it was in good conditions.

Then, I entered to an old vinyl store. It was great. I saw the soundtracks of "My fair lady", "Les parapluies de Cherbourg", "West Side Story" and...(damn, I so have Doris' memory right now). Well, of course I didn't buy anything there, because first, I don't have a turntable, and second, I didn't have enough money.

It was kind of late, and I had to be back at home for lunch, so I decided to enter to the last used books store. And this time I asked to the salesclerk 'do you have something about classic stars or cinema?'. And he said yeah. He started looking for them in his small store, and passed me the bio of Marlon, Marylin, Greta (the only problem with this one is that it was in German), Samuel Goldwyn, and one called La gente hablará (People will talk by John Kobal) which included interviews with Gloria Swanson, Ingrid Bergman, Howard Hawks, Mae West and some more. I noticed I didn't have much money left (LOL) so I just decided to buy the later. The man noticed my money issues, and gave me the book for half of price. I promised I'd go back to buy the one about Goldywn. He said he will save it for me. 

Oh, one more thing. Near the exit of the subway station they had installed a huge and beautiful carousel; it was so lovely and unexpected I wished I had my sketchbook and watercolor set with me.

4 actrices de la RKO según guionista Allan Scott

No logré encontrar ninguna foto de Allan Scott en la web. Y eso que hizo guiones en colaboración o contribuciones para películas como "Roberta", "Top Hat", "Follow de fleet", "So proudly we hail", "Shall we dance", "In name only", "Since you went away" e "Imitation of life", entre otras. Murió en 1995, pero dos años antes aparecía una entrevista con él en el libro Backstory, conversaciones con guionistas de la edad de oro (si lo encuentran, no duden en comprarlo). A continuación reproduzco sus observaciones sobre cuatro actrices con las que le tocó trabajar de cerca.

(Irene Dunne)

"Era la más fácil de agradar de todas. Una mujer profundamente religiosa, muy comprometida en asuntos eclesiásticos. Irene había sido una estrella musical en Broadway, así que se convirtió realmente en actriz (quiero decir en auténtica actriz) cuando vino a Hollywood. Como provenía del teatro, llegaba siempre al plató totalmente preparada. Si tenía un problema en alguna escena, siempre se dirigía al autor, se sentaba con él y le hablaba de ello sin hacer nunca sugerencias sino sólo para explicarle la dificultad que tenía y preguntarle qué estaba haciendo mal".

 (Claudette Colbert)

"También ella provenía del teatro por lo que era muy concienzuda en lo que se refería a la caracterización. A veces me telefoneaba a altas horas de la noche para decirme que tenía alguna dificultad. Entonces, como era una profesional tan minuciosa, comprendía que algo estaba mal y lo corregía. Generalmente tenía razón."

 (Katharine Hepburn)

"Katharine nunca decía una palabra antes de que saliera el guión. Entonces nos fijábamos una fecha y lo examinábamos escena por escena. Escribía unas notas, muy agudas, que por intuición eran correctas para su interpretación. Es una gran persona y resulta muy divertido discutir con ella."

(Ginger Rogers)

"Ginger nunca intervenía en la escritura. Los guiones que escribí para sus vehículos no estaban hechos exactamente a su medida, pero se hicieron en connivencia con ella en varias ocasiones. A veces le enseñaba una historia que me parecía adecuada para ella, y en un par de ocasiones hicimos que el estudio comprara el material original, un relato o una novela. Era una persona muy alegre (en el buen sentido de la palabra) y llevaba una vida social complicada. Recuerdo cierta broma sobre Ginger, que se agrandó con los años. Si Ginger tenía dificultades con una escena, siempre decía: "Hay algo radicalmente erróneo en esta escena." Pasaron un par de películas antes de que nos diéramos cuenta de que, cuando Ginger decía esto, significaba que no estaba preparada y sin duda había estado en la ciudad la noche anterior. Así que nos echábamos a reír al decirlo ella (porque contábamos con que lo dijera), se quedaba muy confundida. No obstante, trabajaba muy, muy duro".

Mamás en el cine

Everybody else is doing it, so why can't we? Justo como el título del primer disco de The Cranberries, he visto varias listas en los medios con madres de la pantalla grande (honrando el día de la Ilustre), así que por qué no hacer una propia, ¿ah?, ¡¿ah?!, ¡¡¿ah?¡¡ Ojo con las que no han visto, que puede haber un spoiler suelto. Marco con asterisco las películas que no me gustan mucho.

La madre abnegada de Roma: Pucha la Sra. Roma (Susú Pecoraro). Se le muere el marido (que era más bueno que el pan pita con queso) y su hijo crece flojo y desinteresado por casi todo. Era pianista seca y ahora hace clases (onda, "ya, a ver, do re mi"). Aparte de su hijo, lo que más quería era su piano. Y lo vende (a bajo precio) para que el muchacho pueda irse a buscar mejor vida. Y después muere sin volver a verlo. Buaaa.

La mamá ultra preocupada de Almost Famous (Casi famosos): Igual es comprensible, si el hijo púber se va a hacer de reportero en gira con una banda de rock, es como para andar pegada al teléfono todo el día. Y obvio, Elaine (Frances McDormand) hace justamente eso, y se enoja porque no le contestan, mandonea a medio mundo para que le traigan al niño al teléfono y hasta le hace una parada-de-carro-estilo-mamá al vocalista del grupo rockero. Jua.

La mamá que no está ni ahí con su hijo de Les Quatre Cents Coups (Los cuatrocientos golpes/Los incomprendidos): El pobre niño lo pasa horrible. La mamá no lo pesca, lo trata pésimo, le tienen una cama toda destartalada, llega a dormir como puede y con lo puesto, sin cuentitos ni nada. Mal Sra., mal, con razón su hijo roba y se arranca.

La mamá desubicada y media loca de Bridget Jones 1 & 2: ¿Qué onda esta señora?(Gemma Jones) Los horribles chalecos de lana, su falta de filtro ("¿Qué estás usando? Pareces una prostituta común") y sus gustos extraños (¡el Sr. creído del "llame ya"!). Al final es perdonada por su marido, pero Sra., contrólese.

La mamá loca entera de Suddenly last summer (De repente el último verano), The lion in winter (El León en Invierno): Katharine Hepburn hace dos papeles en que los enanitos se le arrancan para el bosque heavily. En el primero vive en una casa-jungla, rayada por un hijo fallecido que era más loco que las cabras y es capaz de encerrar a una inocente Liztaylor en un manicomnio con tal de que no se sepa. En la segunda peli es Leonor de Aquitania, cuyo esposo infiel la deja salir de la torre donde la tiene encerrada para pasar unas lindas navidades junto a sus hijos. Todos (incluyendo a mommy) se quieren matar entre ellos y/o robarse los territorios, extorsionarse, urdir planes malévolos y causar daño. Go figure.

La mamá que quiere que su hijo vuelva de Changeling: Tanto hijo que adoptó la Angelina, que alguno se le tenía que perder. No, mentira. A la pobrecita se le hace humo el peque, y para más remate tiene que luchar contra una de las policías más corruptas de la historia del cine. Pasa todas las penurias imaginables, incluida volver al manicomnio (Girl Interrupted, ¿alguien?), para...no les cuento el final.

(*) La mamá que quiere que su hijo se vaya de Failure to launch (Soltero en casa): ¿Quién querría echar a Matthew McConaughey de su casa? Bueno, después de hacer Misery algún tornillo suelto debe haberle quedado a Kathy Bates. Hablando en serio, si el hijo ya tiene 30 y Ud. considera que es tiempo de que se vaya, mamá, ¡dígale! Pero no parta de una contratando a Sarah Jessica Parker para que arme todo un cuento y lo induzca a levar anclas. Sea razonable pues.

La mamá que no quiere ser mamá y da a su hijo de Juno: Ya, pero no tan así como así. Primero busca posibles padres en el diario, después los visita, en seguida queda prendada del dueño de casa porque se cree cool y se hace el pendex, luego lo odia porque se cree cool y se hace el pendex, al final cambia la mala opinión que tenía de Jennifer Garner y toca una canción en la acera con Michael Cera.

La mamá que no quiso ser mamá y dio a su hijo pero éste la encuentra de Secrets & Lies (Secretos y mentiras): Hablando de películas con clímax cuáticos. La mujer más lo que lesea para encontrar a su mum, que primero no quiere saber nada, después consiente una reunión en la que se caen bien y al final la integra a la familia y todos felices comiendo perdices.

La mamá mamá mamá mamá mamá...de Cheaper by the dozen (Trece por docena, 1950) Esta es la versión antigua, no la con Superman y Esteban-Martín-hago-siempre-el-mismo-personaje. Bueno, si el título no les da una pista, la familia consta de un papá, la mamá y ¡13 hijos! Pero la Sra. no tiene nada de neura y todo funciona súper bien, el padre hace reuniones familiares-tipo-cabildo y todos votan etc. La mejor parte es cuando los visita una mujer toda puntuda que no tiene idea el tamaño del familión para pedirles que la apoyen en su causa del control de natalidad. Lol.

La mamá/hija de Freaky Friday (Viernes Loco, 1976): Antes de Lindsay Lohan hubo...¡Jodie Foster! Sí, como con 15 años y frenillos. Por un deseo común nacido de un nivel cabreamiento máximo, mamá e hija intercambian cuerpos y tienen que pasar todo el día tratando de sobrevivir en ese estado. Después de literalmente ponerse en los zapatos del otro y caminar no sé cuantas leguas, se entienden al fin y Jodie se hace agente y busca a Hanibal el Caníbal Lector, etc.

La mamá entradora en razón de Guess who's coming to dinner (Adivina quién viene a cenar): De nuevo Katharine Hepburn. En esta la hija llega con un novio negro y casi le da un patatús. Pero, después se da cuenta de lo estúpido del prejuicio, aparte el tipo es uno bueno, y noble, y dostor, etc. Así que se pasa para el bando a favor del matrimonio de los chicuelos. Ah, una parte ultra interesante es cuando dicen "algún día un negro será presidente de los Estados Unidos". Ah, el guión era de Nostradamus.

La mamá que se cambia de casa como cambia zapato de Karate Kid y Anywhere but here (Cambio de vida): El pobre Daniel-san estaba chato con su mamá porque se mudaron. Pero no sabía que conocería al Sr. Miyagui y aprendería a dar cera y pulir cera, pintar rejas, cazar moscas con palitos...y hacer la patada grulla o grillo o algo así. La segunda es esa con Susan-Thelma-Louise Sarandon y la Natalie Hombre del Puerto, en que la mamá se le ocurre que se van a vivir a L.A. sin el consentimiento de su hija, y pelean, y no pagan las cuentas, y la hija hace monólogos hirientes, y todo se pone feo. Pero al final todo bien, paz y amor.

La mamá a la que le salió una hija malvada de Mildred Pierce: La cosa va así. La mamá (Joan Crawford) se divorcia y queda a cargo de sus dos hijas. La mayor es una completa desconsiderada y toda unplugged y quiere tener ropa nueva y trajes cool a cada rato. La madre parte de abajo, se saca la mugre trabajando y surge, pero a la hija no le basta con esos ingresos. Así que inventa embarazos, le trata de quitar el novio con plata a la mamá, etc. Pobre Mildred.

(*) La mamá juvenil de Mamma Mia: Esta mamá vive en una isla en Grecia y anda todo el rato con jardineras, y baila/canta canciones de Abba por todas partes: techos, graneros, altas cumbres, muelles, etc con sus amigas. Es súper enérgica y todavía no se decide entre 3 hombres del pasado.

La mamá que se enamora del novio de su hija de Something's gotta give (Alguien tiene que ceder): Obvio que era entendible, si la hija tenía como 10 y el tipo como 60 y pa' más era Jack Nicholson. Así que la señora mientras escribe su obra de teatro en su filete casa en la playa, tontea con El Resplandor, buscan piedras negras y blancas, no pesca a Neo, etc. Pero, al Guasón le seguían interesando gatúbelas más jóvenes, y la señora lo pilla con las manos en la masa. Sin embargo, París arregla todo.

La mamá amiga de Terms of Endearment (La fuerza del cariño): Shirley McLaine pelea la mitad de la peli con su hija, y la otra mitad hablan por fono en buena. No soporta a su yerno, Jack Nicholson se pasó del párrafo anterior a vivir al lado, y la niña se va a vivir más lejos que no se qué. Después la cosa se complica muchísimo y termina mal, pero véanla igual (salió verso, con mucho esfuerzo).

La mamá esforzada de The grapes of wrath (Las uvas de la ira): Plena depresión en Estados Unidos (la del '29), y todo escasea, se expropian terrenos en mala, la gente anda triste y hambrienta. Así que la mamá de Henry Fonda es el pilar de su familia, si hay que desalojar la casa, nos vamos no más dejando atrás los recuerdos; si se muere alguien en el camino hacer de tripas corazón; si hay que subirse en el camión más destartalado/cargado del planeta y viajar miles y miles de kilómetros, nos instalamos como sea. Reverencias para esta mamá.

La mamá millonaria pero infeliz de The notebook (Diario de una pasión): Toda la peli en contra de que su hija estuviera con Ryan Gosling, porque era pobre, y a favor de que se casara con el millonario Cyclops/Príncipe de Encantada para al final venir a contar que ella se encontró en la misma disyuntiva cuando era joven, y que eligió al Tío Rico, y ahora es infeliz. Cueck!

La mamá en banca rota-trabajadora-culpable de Erin Brockovich: Por mucho que una sea Julia Roberts, hay que comprar la leche Nido y los pañales igual. Lo que es difícil de hacer sola, sin apoyo, con pocos estudios, con compañeras de trabajo pesadas y una ardua labor a tiempo completo que involucra empresas millonarias que venden agua envenenada a toda una población. Obvio que hay que dejarle los niños al primer motociclista que se estacione afuera de la casa.

La mamá asesina con sed de venganza de Kill Bill vol. 1 & 2: Igual bakán para la peque BB saber que su mamá mató cerca de un centenar de personas, incluidos ex compañeros de trabajo, una cabra con una cadena terminada en papas con cuchilla y a su marido para encontrarla.

La mamá gata de Gone with the wind (Lo que el viento se llevó): El mismísimo Rhett Butler le dice a su mujer que hasta una gata sería mejor madre. Es que Scarlett O'Hara nunca asumió que tenía una hija, no la pescaba mucho y estaba más preocupada de que el corsé le quedara igual que antes y que Oh-Ashley le diera bola. Bu.

La mamá celosa de The Birds (Los pájaros): Es que en serio Jessica Tandy no soportaba a su posible nuera. Lo único que hace las primeras 3/4 partes de la hithcockeana película es mirarla feo, tratarla con frialdad y autocompadecerse porque su hijo se puede ir. Y eso que no era la primera vez que montaba el número: ya había alejado a la profe del pueblo de su hijo, y la pobre terminó viviendo al frente y lamentándose por no poder estar con el Sr. Sobreprotegido. La cosa es que el ataque de los pájaros le ayuda a ver que la tipa no es mala y que le lleva tecito.

La mamá con frases para el bronce de Forrest Gump: Nada que decir. Si tu mamá tiene frases como "la vida es como una caja de chocolates. Nunca sabes lo que te tocará" es la mejor de todas, porque puedes ponerle copyright y sacarle millonadas por cada vez que la citen. : )