Jan 6, 2011

You only live twice (1967): LOL

Paragraph Film Reviews is hosting a blogathon called James Bond January. I wanted to write about any 007 film starring Sean Connery, but I already missed From Russia with love and Goldfinger, two movies I saw with my dad some years ago and I found really cool. I decided to watch for the first time You only live twice which had low ratings but a great song. This is gonna be a different review since the most outstanding characteristic of this movie is its hilarity:


The plot: Pay attention because it was really hard to me to find out what it was about. A guy with a mean-faced cat has a plan to reign the world. He invented a rocket or something that "eats" other spaceships and brings them back to their evil base in a Japanese island. The world is in the middle of the Cold War, so if they capture a Russian rocket and then an American one, the two nations are definitively destroy each other and bingo, he has complete control of the whole planet.

The women: I know that in every Bond film women are supposed to be irremediably attracted to him. But at least in the most recent films screenwriters develop some kind of story before show them together (that's why I love Casino Royale). Well, here there's no story whatsoever. Bond meets any random girl and, well, you know.All the girls in this movie wear bikini because in Japan that's what they do. I love Sean Connery, but I have to admit I prefer him older (like in...First Knight... am I the only one who loves that movie?)

The female agent: Bond is about to be killed in several occasions but luckily the female agent was parked all the time somewhere near and saves him in her super white car. They made this girl wear a white bikini and white snickers to go to the ultimate mission. It's hilarious to see her running in the evil island with her white snickers, her feet seem to have a life of their own. Plus Bond asks her to go for help, so she has to cross like a whole ocean, while a helicopter shoots at her, and then go back. Great exercise! 


The official plan: This was more ridiculous. To break and enter to the evil island and the volcano where the guy with the cat has his super base, they plan to have a legion of ninjas. But, wait, if the legion of ninjas take care of the situation, what would Bond do? Exactly, he has to become a ninja, have a wig and makeup that makes him look like Brando after being beaten in On the waterfront...AND marry a girl. Because you can't defeat the enemy without fulfill these requirements. 


The stupidity of the enemy: I know Bond would never die, but at least they could have a little scratch or something. Like when he was in a tiny helicopter wearing a polo outfit and being chased by four for real helicopters, but he destroys them all. 


The stupidity of 007: I don't know why, but in several occasions he and the female agent expose themselves to be shot without any clear purpose. In one scene they go walking to a place that seems like a dock where dozens of enemies are working and they stand there waiting for the bullets. 

Bond's lack of feelings: Remember the girl with the white snickers? Well, she dies but Bond doesn't really regret it or say something about it. What for? He already has another Japanese girl to replace her. 

Miss Moneypenny: The poor girl. She only has like two lines in the whole movie. But at the end she ruins Bond's "honeymoon" by emerging in a submarine and elevating Bond's safe boat from the water :)

13 comments:

  1. This is one of my favourite reviews. Even though I love this film to bits you pick it to shreds!!! Good going.

    Definitely think you should do a coupe more. Roger Moore is a much better target!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, Clara, I had always liked You Only Live Twice. Then I read your review and it all seems so logical. We all know that James Bond films are tongue in cheek and should never be taken seriously. Everyone hopes the bad guys (and their cats) will lose.

    BTW, Casino Royale (the new one) was the first Ian Fleming 007 book, and therefore it would be taking place just as James Bond began his secret agent career. You Only Live Twice was book #12, so it would have happened much later.

    Now go watch all the Bond films in book order!

    ReplyDelete
  3. There was only one James Bond for me
    and that that was Sean Connery. I did't like the others and never
    completly watched them. Till he was in one

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a fun take on this film, Clara. Brava! I do feel sorry for the lady having to run around practically naked with things exploding, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Paul: Thanks, that's a really nice comment coming from a Bond fan :) Well, if I happen to want to see a film starring Roger Moore before the blogathon ends, I'll post about it and send u the link. Thanks for dropping by and organizing this event :)

    Allen: Yeah, I know they shouldn't be taken seriously, that's why I didn't write a serious review :) I don't remember laughing so much watching "Goldfinger" and "From Russian With Love", so I guess the problem is with this one. Oh, I'd like to read that first book, because I really think the movie starring Daniel Craig, Casino Royale, is awesome. Thanks for the info!

    Yvonne: Yes, I thought the same, but I think Daniel Craig did a fine job in "Casino Royale" (the new one).
    Thanks a million for your comment.

    Java: Lol, yeah, that poor girl! Thanks for your kind comment :)

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  6. I've never seen this movie, but I know the song. We have the "James Bond Theme Songs" CD and I think "You Only Live Twice is the best song on the whole CD!

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  7. jnpickens: Sorry for not answering sooner. I have that cd too! The songs from James Bond are great (most of them), and YOLT is one of my favorites too :) I also love "From Russia with love" and "Goldfinger". I also love some modern ones like Garbage's "The world is not enough" and Madonna's "Die another day". Thanks for stopping by :)

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  8. James Bond movies are awesome but the songs are just out of this world.Some Goldfinger & Die another day are one of gem of bond movies.Thanks for sharing.I'm big fan of James Bond.

    ReplyDelete
  9. James Bond movies are awesome but the songs are just out of this world.Some Goldfinger & Die another day are one of gem of bond movies.Thanks for sharing.I'm big fan of James Bond.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Paul: Thanks, that's a really nice comment coming from a Bond fan :) Well, if I happen to want to see a film starring Roger Moore before the blogathon ends, I'll post about it and send u the link. Thanks for dropping by and organizing this event :)

    Allen: Yeah, I know they shouldn't be taken seriously, that's why I didn't write a serious review :) I don't remember laughing so much watching "Goldfinger" and "From Russian With Love", so I guess the problem is with this one. Oh, I'd like to read that first book, because I really think the movie starring Daniel Craig, Casino Royale, is awesome. Thanks for the info!

    Yvonne: Yes, I thought the same, but I think Daniel Craig did a fine job in "Casino Royale" (the new one).
    Thanks a million for your comment.

    Java: Lol, yeah, that poor girl! Thanks for your kind comment :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a fun take on this film, Clara. Brava! I do feel sorry for the lady having to run around practically naked with things exploding, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, Clara, I had always liked You Only Live Twice. Then I read your review and it all seems so logical. We all know that James Bond films are tongue in cheek and should never be taken seriously. Everyone hopes the bad guys (and their cats) will lose.

    BTW, Casino Royale (the new one) was the first Ian Fleming 007 book, and therefore it would be taking place just as James Bond began his secret agent career. You Only Live Twice was book #12, so it would have happened much later.

    Now go watch all the Bond films in book order!

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is one of my favourite reviews. Even though I love this film to bits you pick it to shreds!!! Good going.

    Definitely think you should do a coupe more. Roger Moore is a much better target!

    ReplyDelete

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