Jan 6, 2011
Paragraph Film Reviews is hosting a blogathon called James Bond January. I wanted to write about any 007 film starring Sean Connery, but I already missed From Russia with love and Goldfinger, two movies I saw with my dad some years ago and I found really cool. I decided to watch for the first time You only live twice which had low ratings but a great song. This is gonna be a different review since the most outstanding characteristic of this movie is its hilarity:
The plot: Pay attention because it was really hard to me to find out what it was about. A guy with a mean-faced cat has a plan to reign the world. He invented a rocket or something that "eats" other spaceships and brings them back to their evil base in a Japanese island. The world is in the middle of the Cold War, so if they capture a Russian rocket and then an American one, the two nations are definitively destroy each other and bingo, he has complete control of the whole planet.
The women: I know that in every Bond film women are supposed to be irremediably attracted to him. But at least in the most recent films screenwriters develop some kind of story before show them together (that's why I love Casino Royale). Well, here there's no story whatsoever. Bond meets any random girl and, well, you know.All the girls in this movie wear bikini because in Japan that's what they do. I love Sean Connery, but I have to admit I prefer him older (like in...First Knight... am I the only one who loves that movie?)
The female agent: Bond is about to be killed in several occasions but luckily the female agent was parked all the time somewhere near and saves him in her super white car. They made this girl wear a white bikini and white snickers to go to the ultimate mission. It's hilarious to see her running in the evil island with her white snickers, her feet seem to have a life of their own. Plus Bond asks her to go for help, so she has to cross like a whole ocean, while a helicopter shoots at her, and then go back. Great exercise!
The official plan: This was more ridiculous. To break and enter to the evil island and the volcano where the guy with the cat has his super base, they plan to have a legion of ninjas. But, wait, if the legion of ninjas take care of the situation, what would Bond do? Exactly, he has to become a ninja, have a wig and makeup that makes him look like Brando after being beaten in On the waterfront...AND marry a girl. Because you can't defeat the enemy without fulfill these requirements.
The stupidity of the enemy: I know Bond would never die, but at least they could have a little scratch or something. Like when he was in a tiny helicopter wearing a polo outfit and being chased by four for real helicopters, but he destroys them all.
The stupidity of 007: I don't know why, but in several occasions he and the female agent expose themselves to be shot without any clear purpose. In one scene they go walking to a place that seems like a dock where dozens of enemies are working and they stand there waiting for the bullets.
Bond's lack of feelings: Remember the girl with the white snickers? Well, she dies but Bond doesn't really regret it or say something about it. What for? He already has another Japanese girl to replace her.
Miss Moneypenny: The poor girl. She only has like two lines in the whole movie. But at the end she ruins Bond's "honeymoon" by emerging in a submarine and elevating Bond's safe boat from the water :)