I WANT TO WRITE!!

Do you fear the blank sheet before your eyes? Do you fear the twinkling, expectant cursor on the screen? Once a teacher mentioned that process before you start writing a piece as something to deal with. But, you know, I've never really had that problem. I love putting words together, I love searching for these tiny vehicles of meaning and constructing messages that connect me with other people, allowing me to actually transfer stories, events, feelings and emotions. I love writing.

That last sentence is something I've been repeating for the last six years. Whenever someone asks me "why did you study journalism?" or "what do you like the most about it?" I say: "I love writing". I remember being like nine years old, finishing the first story I wrote and my mom entering to the room and being all surprised by it. I didn't understand what was so great about it, for me it was just fun. Then at school I loved my Spanish class and my favorite homeworks were, of course, those that included creative writing. 

At university I had terrible times with my 8 A.M. courses at the TV studio, having to memorize news and telling them in front of a camera without making the little tiny mistake in your pronunciation; the Radio workshop wasn't so easy either, having to cover important stories during the day and telling them live from wherever you got the call from the station. I'd like to say I didn't have problems with my writing classes, but I had tons of them. I realized that normal journalists not only need to write well, but they have to do it in very short time. And I can't write the way I like when I'm under pressure. 

I finished university last year, I ended my internship in a TV station a month ago and in two weeks, in the usual fancy ceremony, I'm gonna receive that piece of paper that proves that you study something. And then I am supposed to be ready to be a journalist. But the past days I've had free time, no pressure, I've watched lots of movies (+20), I've had interesting experiences to tell and I just can't find inspiration to write in my own personal blog. I just can't. 

I'm putting part of the blame on Tumblr: there the system is different, easy things like sharing a picture have massive reactions and more than one paragraph is like too much text. When you think "well, now I'm going to post something on Blogger" it's like, bleh, it takes too much time. I'm putting the blame on Tumblr because I don't want to think that there's something more profound than this. Like after all these years I just got tired, that maybe writing it's not so much fun anymore. The scary thing is that having a mind ready to write is an important part of what I want to work in. Do you imagine the face of my editor if I tell him: "no, you know something, today I don't feel able to write, so to hell with the news!"? 

Last paragraph, I'm supposed to have a conclusion. First thing: if you don't want to damage your writing inspiration, do not create a Tumblr account. It's very addictive. Second thing: I wanted to write, I wrote. Even if I wrote about wanting to write. Third thing: I just remembered that Spongebob SquarePants episode in which he had no inspiration to write an essay and after a really awful process he goes to present his homework just to realize that it's Sunday and the school is closed. Fourth thing: I want to be like Hildy Johnson.